Too Good To Be True


Dangit. All.

All my good luck – smooth traveling to Richmond, a sweet hotel upgrade and all the hummus I could eat – went straight to hell in a hand basket circa 7pm last night. Let’s break it down.

7-11pm Wednesday night: Heavy storms in Chicago, where I am to connect to Des Moines from, cause us to abort our landing at the last second. Life flashes before my very eyes. Divert to Rockford, fly back to Chicago an hour later, miss my connecting flight by 10 minutes and spend the night there.

8am this morning: Fly home wearing the same clothes I’d been wearing since Wednesday at 7am, then go straight to work in them. Smelling like garlic.

5-6pm this evening: Head straight to my Mom’s 20 years of service to her school district ceremony after work, then arrive home to find I’m locked out of my house. Husband is still at work, and Mom, who has my extra key, is still at the ceremony.


6pm: Talk myself off the ledge and decide to go get Chipotle for dinner, in my garlic clothes, to pass the time ’til she gets out and returns my calls for help.


6:30pm: Get home, go to eat my burrito bowl on the front porch while I wait and realize I forgot to get a freaking fork. Laugh like a true maniac because, really, what else am I going to do?

6:40pm: Mom calls. YESSSS! Tells me I took the spare house key back from her weeks ago. She saw me put it on my key chain. I look down. I’VE HAD THE DAMN KEY THE WHOLE TIME.


6:42pm: Steam. Sloooowly coming out of ears. Try not to yell. Unsuccessful. MOOOOTTTHHHAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


6:43pm: Walk into my house for the first time since Tuesday at 6:15am. Strip off disgusting, 2-day old clothes, pour lighter fluid on them to prepare them for burning, grab fork and dig into dinner.


6:44pm: Realize I haven’t been through anything so terrible that a good-sized Chipotle burrito bowl rice pocket can’t fix.


And that brings us to the present. I mean really? Realllllly? I swear I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried! All I have to say is that is the LAST time I do not take a direct flight. Never, ever again. Ever! Screw you flight connections!!!!

Ahem. ExCUSE me! Sorry. Moving on. Let’s hear it for 20 years in the local school district – huzzah!


Today my Mom was honored, along with other teachers and staff in her school district, for service milestones at a cocktail hour and ceremony this afternoon.


My Dad, sister-in-law, and even little Finn came out to cheer her on. Literally! Finn yelled (loudly, I might add) “Grammmmmmyyyy!!!” as she stood on stage to collect her certificate.


How can you stay mad at the world when you look at a picture of these two?! Two of my very favorite people ever. :)


10 minutes from now: Taking a hot shower to scrub the past 24 hours off myself and review lessons learned, which are: Pack extra clothes when touring pungent hummus factories (this was literally the one time in my entire life where I didn’t over pack, natch,) book direct flights, and for Heaven’s sake, make sure you know where your spare house key is!!!



Are you a crier when you get upset, angry or frustrated? A swearer? Or are you able to keep your wits about you?

I…Grandma and Dad divert your eyes…am a swearer. Like a friggin’ sailor. It feels good!

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  1. Lauren 05.12.2011

    Oh that all sounds horrible!!! Thank GOD you had Chipotle to soothe the pain from the awful day. :) Now you just need to pair that burrito bowl with a big glass of wine and some ice cream and you’ll forget all about it. ;)

  2. Lexi 05.12.2011

    Oh man, DEFINITELY a crier! There’s nothing a good cry can’t fix. :)

    • Lexi 05.12.2011

      And someday you’ll look back on this entry and laugh….maybe…c’mon, you know it is kind of funny… :)

  3. I am not usually a cryer. I’m a swearer. I’m a scream-into-a-pillower & then I just laugh about however bad a situation is. I went through a hellish situation at La Guardia airport & ended up standing in a tiny space of 400 people because all of our flights were grounded & they had no speakers to notify us, so we had to huddle to listen for them yelling for people to board. For 12 HOURS. Why is it always something to do with flying that brings out our true anger?? lol I’m sorry all that stuff happened to you!

  4. Alisha 05.12.2011

    O.M.G Seriously you had me dying with this post. You are such a great “Angry” writer. I could literally feel the emotion coming through the computer screen-really! I get exactly the same way when it is just one thing right. after. another. *#$^#%@$%!! “my swearing” :) Chin up girl, its the weekend and you deserve some chillaxin – you have been go, go, go all week!

  5. What a past couple of days you’ve had! You handled it all well. I’ve been on a dropping things streak the past few days. Tuesday night, I dropped a martini glass on my kitchen floor and it shattered everywhere. Wednesday morning, I opened my refrigerator and a very liquidy, sticky, messy dessert that I made came flying out and spilled all over the kitchen floor, my clothes and hair, the walls, the stove….everywhere. Like you, I just laughed like a maniac.

  6. Julie 05.12.2011

    I’m in Rockford. You should have called. I totally would have taken you to Chipotle and driven you home. For a sample of that hummus, of course. :)

  7. jen 05.12.2011

    Oh boy, I am a swearer. It’s unheard of for me to swear in my day to day life, but when situations like yours come up (and I have this weird attraction to such situations – I seriously have things like that happen to my 5-6 times a year, minimum), I swear like you wouldn’t believe. Your whole story had me cracking up big time! Awful when you’re in it, but funny from the outside :-)

  8. Sara 05.12.2011

    Oh my gosh, not to be mean, but this post mad me laugh! Seriously, when it rains, it pours right?! Days like that make me feel like I’m on candid camera and someone is just waiting for me to combust in anger. No fun. I’m glad you survived.

  9. Eve P 05.12.2011

    I do all of the above when frustrated. Usually swear first, laught second and then cry because I am laughing so hard at my own insanity.

  10. This was awesome, ok well not awesome for you, but it did make a good post! And you look really good for being in the same clothes from the night before! I had a flight cancel in Denver where I had to spend the night and just cried on the phone to my mom and gave the US Airways people mean looks.

  11. Machelle 05.12.2011

    a comedy of errors! heeheee! i had a similar flying incident trying to get home to DM from Florida. we missed our flight. now flying stand-by. finally got on a flight to Minneapolis. so now we are in Minn, settled into the last 3 seats on a fairly small plane headed to DM but, suddenly that plane was grounded for mechanical reasons. no problem, there is another plane headed to DM but, it is even smaller, so no seats for us! we finally,after several hours at the Minn airport, ended up renting a car & driving to DM & that was a challenge cuz rental companies don’t like to rent you a car if you’re not bringing it back to the original location! luckily we found a rental guy who took pity on us! i discovered i am far more patient than i ever thought i could be during all that! ha! at least we made it safe & sound. =))

  12. OMG Kristen, what a day!!! Glad you’re home safely and hopefully snuggled up with Ben :)

    Congrats to your Mom!

  13. Laura 05.12.2011

    You poor sweatheart!!! I would’ve been crying, cussing and throwing things by the end of that day! I am def a swearer, it does feel so good to let it spew out sometimes (i’m going to hell).

  14. Amanda 05.12.2011

    I feel awful… but I have to be honest… I’ve had a fairly crumby day and this made me laugh hysterically. I’m sorry. I truly feel bad for all you went through, but it just struck me as humorous! And I am a swearer also. You’re right, it feels GOOD!!

  15. Rachel 05.12.2011

    Oh how awful! I can’t even imagine & I’ve had many a horrid flight experience. Glad you’re home though & congrats to your mom (I still want to steal your nephew–He is just too cute!)!!!

  16. Amber 05.12.2011

    I am a crier. I hate it. If I get upset, I cry. If I get extremely happy, I cry. If I… well, you get it. I don’t know where the tears come from sometimes, but they always appear! Luckily, I have learned to control it now that I am an adult. But, if I get super stressed I cry to my mama. ;)
    Congrats to your mom! I still need to get to her school. I’ve subbed at Stilwell, Indian Hills and Valley. West Des Moines district gets a thumbs up from me so far!! :)

  17. Karen 05.12.2011

    I’m both a crier & a swearer :)

    I feel your pain on the flight thing though! This past November my husband and I were on our way back to Washington state after a friends wedding in Florida, and after a layover in Minneapolis, we were circling our home airport when they decided they couldn’t land and we had to divert to Salt Lake City…at 1 in the morning! The reason – it had snowed after they sent all of the snow guys (no idea what they’re called…they people who clear the snow out of the way) home for the night! So while most people stayed at the airport all night, we sucked it up and paid $100 for a few hours of sleep at a nearby hotel & had to be back at the airport at like 6 to make sure we had a new flight home! Luckily we eventually made it home, but never again will I fly without toiletries & a change of clothes in my carry-on :)

  18. Oh man, I would have been soooo frustrated! Props to you for actually going in to work and not calling in sick (or taking a paid day off!), I think I would have stayed home after the diverted/missed flights + old clothes.

    Someday you will laugh about having the key on your key chain, that really is going to be funny!

  19. OH MY GAHHHH!!! I did NOT see that coming….you having the key all along. I would have died. I swear so much when I’m peeved. Sleep it off, Kristen. Tomorrow is another day.

  20. Kristin 05.12.2011

    This sounds awful, and I know I would have been frustrated too, but at least you were not one of the people who lost their homes or cars in the storms that hit Iowa and the Midwest yesterday or the flooding that’s been going on for a while now. Put into perspective, you did have a home to come back to and a vacation that others are unable to have now that they’ve lost everything. Not to sound rude…but in times of frustration, it helps to be grateful for what you do have…

  21. awww, sorry that sounds like no fun. but at least it’s all over now!

  22. Jordan 05.12.2011

    Oh my goodness that is SO frustrating!!! I’m sorry! (P.S. I live in Chicago and the crazy weather last night was legitimately insane and terrifying)
    On the plus side, you looked really adorable for being stuck in the same clothes for 24 hours! :)

  23. Lindsey 05.12.2011

    One thing I have learned, after spending a lot of time flying and travelling, is that there is no point in getting upset or mad… because it only makes things a million times worse!!! Of course it sucks, I’ve been stuck many places I’d rather not be, but when it comes down to it..there’s nothing you can do about it! But to add to that, if I had to deal with all of that and then the KEY situation.. omg I think I’d just start crying immediately haha. There would be nothing left to do!

  24. Lindsay@Brownies For Brunch 05.12.2011

    I hate to say that your horrid night did make me laugh. I suppose you will be able to in hindsight! I just got locked out of my house for the first time in years a few days ago. It is the MOST fruterating/swearing provoking situation EVA! Feel ya pain! But definitely nothing Chipotle can’t take care of :-)

  25. jennyv 05.12.2011

    To quote Dorothy, “There’s No Place Like Home.” So glad you’re there after your travel drama… and in fresh clothes :)

  26. Stephanie 05.12.2011

    Oh my goodness girl, I am so glad you are finally home!!! I would have seriously gone crazy too!!

  27. Erin 05.12.2011

    You’ll laugh about it soon. I had one of those days not that long ago. The husband “helped” me by loading the car with my purse and baby items before he left for the dentist before work. When I got ready to leave I realized he locked the car. With my keys and phone inside. I was lugging a baby around the neighborhood knocking on doors to see if I could use someone’s phone when I remembered his personal cell was at home. Took me an hour to find someone to go to the dentist to get my husband’s key and then come let me in. I was so mad that I cried but it’s definitely funny now!

  28. Amy 05.12.2011

    Oh good grief!! To be honest, all that sounds like something I’d do. And, I have to admit, I giggled just a tad. Sorry!!

    When I’m mad, I cry while I swear. If I’m super-duper mad, I clean. Yes, clean. Or organize. Whatever is more acceptable wherever I’m at.

  29. Wow, I’m impressed you even wrote this blog post. I would be completely dead.. and I would probably cry if I had to go to work after that, haha.

  30. Kelly 05.12.2011

    TOTAL crier

    More importantly though–do you know the name of the nailpoish you have on? :)

    • Iowa Girl Eats 05.15.2011

      It’s the NYC quick drying nail polish brand in “Greenwich Village”. Dried SO quick and was $1!

  31. Anissa 05.12.2011

    Hats off to you sailor for making it through the day!!!! :) I too swear like a sailor when things go all wrong. I couldnt stop laughing when I read where your spare key was :)
    And CONGRATS to your mom for the 20 years of service in the school district :)

  32. dmcgirl 05.12.2011

    lmao!!! I swear, like a truck driver!! and yes, it feels so good!

    Really, on your key chain.. hahahha… still laughing…. lol


  33. I am a swearer and then a crier. I can handle one or two stressful things at once, but when things begin to pile up, I freak out.

  34. erica 05.12.2011

    i think i’m a frustrated swearer, turns angry swearer, then crier.

    that sounds like an extremely frustrating day!!! i would’ve been in tears. i always get so stressed out about connecting flights!!!

    btw, you have insanely long eyelashes!!! lucky! :)

  35. Amanda 05.12.2011

    Wow, that really is rotten luck! But if it’s any consolation, you still looked great despite 2-day old clothes and a hellish past 24 hours. ;)
    Glad to hear you’re back to home base, safe and sound.

  36. Totally agree! Direct flights all the way. Learned that lesson coming ho e from Vegas last November. Never again!

    I usually whine when everything is going wrong. I don’t know how my husband can stand me, lol.

  37. Ebby 05.13.2011

    Why does it seem like there is always a snowball effect on those days from hell? Just when it seems like it can’t get any worse, it always does…ugh!

    Depending on my mood I can be a swearer or crier. Or I yell at the top of my lungs if I’m alone. Feels good!

  38. Melissa 05.13.2011

    Wow, I feel you on the travel woes. Nothing like missing a connection to 100% um, tick?, you off? I am a swear-er, then a crier.

    On the plus side, you still look fresh and beautiful in the pics here, so the travel didn’t totally wreak havoc on your appearance! I would have been a hot mess! :)

  39. Hope 05.13.2011

    Wow, I’m sorry that you had to deal with all of that! I am a total crier and swearer when I get upset and frustrated. The tears just start pouring out and the curse words come out too! I can’t help it. Haha.

  40. Kate 05.13.2011

    I hate days like that! I am definitely a crier when I get frustrated, it takes a bit but then the waterworks come and they do not stop. I’m glad everything worked out – Chipotle always helps!

  41. Linda Kidd 05.13.2011

    Sorry my little sweetie pie. I laughed my ass off on this one!!
    Way to funny! Wow what a day. I’ll tell you someday about the small plane flight your family and I took to your wedding. I was the only one wired up but you will understand when I tell you!!!
    Sure hope you have a relaxing weekend. How about your Mom – good for her!!

  42. Man, that is a rough break. Glad that’s behind you! I’m a total cry baby. Once I was going to South America and a flight was delayed — meaning I missed the connection which flies once each night. The idea of my trip being delayed 24 hrs prompted LOTS of tears in the airport.

  43. Amber 05.13.2011

    Ugh sounds rough! Good thing Chipotle makes everything better :D

  44. Sienna 05.13.2011

    At least you picked a cute outfit for your flight! Imagine if you’d been stuck at work and the ceremony in sweats instead!

  45. chloe @ 321delish 05.13.2011

    when I have times like that I just sit down. I sit down wherever I am…literally, I have been found in hallways, on grass next to sidewalks, in the middle of my kitchen. I am often found super tight face muscles and clenched fists too. but at least if i stay put, I wont do anything irrational…

  46. Brittany 05.13.2011

    What a day! Sometimes you seriously just have to scream and let it all out :) I tried to move my furniture myself last night and ended up knocking my bed frame apart and MAN is that thing heavy to put back together!! Needless to say, if my neighbors called and complained about crazy yelling I wouldn’t be surprised 0-:-)

  47. Mellissa 05.13.2011

    I have had days like this too! Sometimes you just need to sit down and cry. There have been a few sessions of airport tears because of cancelled flights and lack of showering.

  48. Sorry to giggle at your misfortune! Glad you’re able to take some deep breaths and reflect on the situation. ;-)

    I am most definitely a crier…can’t tell you how many conversations I’ve started with “I’m crying because I’m pissed off!” I’m also a swearer. BIG TIME. LOL

  49. Christina Theriault 05.13.2011

    I am a swearer and a a crazy person! :) i got a good laugh out of this, cuz it is so something that would happen to me! :) Glad you tried to make the best out of it! Plus in the pictures, you didn’t look like you were wearing day old clothing…so thats a bonus! ha!

  50. AJ 05.13.2011

    I’m a crier AND a swearer! Well to be honest, I am kind of a swearer ALL the time ;) I also get really impatient and snappy with people when I’m frustrated/stressed.

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