Before Lincoln turned our party of two into a family of three, I thought I knew what I was getting myself into. I’d been told about the 3am feedings and not showering until 2pm (or let’s be real – not at all) but no matter how many parents I talked to, nor how many books I read, I found out there were at least 10 things I never knew about having a newborn until I experienced them myself, which I will happily share with you! And don’t be scared. Wait ’til you get to number one. (Also those are Lincoln’s feet. I could just eat them up, I could.)
10. Get ready to do some laundry
Buy stock in P&G now because you will be doing a ton of laundry in the first couple of weeks. I repeat, a TON of laundry! From mattress pads and fitted crib sheets, to blankets, onsies, and changing table covers, I had no idea one little person could produce so much laundry. That being said, now that we’ve learned to ahem, aim it DOWN, our laundry has gone down significantly, but between the three of us I still do at least one load a day. (I use Dreft detergent and Purex no-dye, fragrance-free  softener.)
9. You will sweat at night. So much.
I thought the AC was busted the first night I woke up completely soaked in sweat after getting home from the hospital. Then I tore the covers off and realized the bedroom was cool and crisp as a cucumber. The same thing happened the next night…and the next night…until my friend finally asked me – have you had the night sweats yet? Um, YES! Why didn’t anyone tell me about night sweats?! So bizarre. Just plan on adding your PJs into your daily load of laundry.
8. Hormones are a bitch
There I said it. Of course I read all about Postpartum Depression and the baby blues before Lincoln came, but I was not at all prepared for how unbelievably crazy the sudden drop in hormones made me feel after he was born. I cried (read: lost it) when Ben nearly had to go out of town for 3 days when Lincoln was a week and half old. I cried while watching a news segment about premature babies. I cried when Ben suggested we upgrade our Costco membership (not kidding.) While I don’t think I had PPD or the baby blues, there is absolutely no denying that my emotions were out of control for at least a week post-birth. Thankfully I started feeling like my normal self after two (long) weeks!
7. Forgetfulness (especially at night!)
Blame the wacky sleep schedule, but nobody told me how forgetful I’d become post-baby! A few weekends ago Ben and I were driving out to a nearby lake to take a walk with Lincoln, and I forgot the stroller. Ben feeds Lincoln in the early morning, yet just last night I found myself feeding him when he walked in with the bottle. What?! Just make lists and forgive yourself when you feel like you should be committed.
6. Experiencing uncertainty
I have always been a quick decision maker. I hate dawdling and just want to make a choice and move on. Now that Lincoln is here I have become the most uncertain person about everything! I am so scared that I’ll make a decision that will negatively affect him. Hopefully this is a phase, but I kind of doubt it…
5. Learn to love cold food
A hot meal? What’s that? I’m only kind of kidding, but be prepared for your meals to be interrupted by diaper changes, nap rescues, nighttime fussiness…and laundry. It could take you awhile to get back to that yummy hot meal you planned on eating hours ago.
4. Girlfriends are gold
I never knew I’d rely so much on my girlfriends who are also moms for advice during the first uncertain couple of weeks after having a baby. Make sure you get those girls on speed dial!
3. Battling back pain
Do yourself a favor and schedule a massage for 2 or 3 weeks post-baby BEFORE you give birth. Between nursing and pumping (which kills your back,) hunching over the diaper changing table, and constantly stooping to coo at your sweet baby, your back will be taking a beating. Ben’s been great at giving me rubs, but I can’t wait to get a legit massage!
2. Online shopping is a gift
During those first weeks when it’s not always easy to get out of the house, online shopping will become your best friend. From swaddle blankets and a hands-free pumping bra, I have ordered a ton of stuff online lately and seriously, with shipping these days, I feel like my items have all arrived 2 days later no matter which shipping option I picked. Go Amazon.
1. It is ALL worth it!
It’s cliche, but so true. I’d eat cold hot dogs, walk as a hunch back, and do 100 loads of laundry a day just to have Lincoln in our lives. 1-9 is nothing compared to the unconditional love I feel every second I look into his face, and the joy his smile and funny faces bring to my heart. I sometimes think it will literally explode inside of my chest. Of course people told me this all throughout my pregnancy, but I couldn’t fathom this love existed until I actually experienced it myself. Motherhood is hard, but it rules!
So what say you, fellow parents? What surprised you about having a newborn baby?
Molly 08.27.2013
i agree with ALL of this!!! especially #10. it is worth it. SO worth it! i get crazy hormones and cry like a crazy person. our third was born right before our oldest started third grade last year. i lost it. it think she thought i was going nuts:) we laughed about it just the other day.
Julie 08.27.2013
The biggest thing(s) I learned from a newborn? The second one is easier. Naps are highly underrated (even when newborn grows into an 8 year old going on 40.) Babies are very resilient and it won’t kill them (or you) to let the laundry go for a day or let them amuse themselves (that’s what kissable baby feet are for, after all). Most everything marketed for babies is simply that — marketing. When you decide how much stuff you really DON’T need, find a good consignment store (Me and Mommy-to-Be is great [WDM and Ankeny]). Most of the inventory they carry is in excellent shape, used very little and dirt cheap.
You’re doing great! Now go take a nap…
Meredith 08.27.2013
Our midwives told us this, but I didn’t believe them until my little man actually arrived – Nap when he naps. Took a little while for me to realize that pushing myself to try to clean and do laundry while he napped when I was so EXHAUSTED did no one any good. I didn’t nap during his afternoon nap every day, but a few times a week or on the days we’d had a particularly long night or challenging morning. I’m not and have never been a napper, but those naps in the first 3 months when I was home with him were life savers.
Becky 08.27.2013
This is weird, but I never knew how much I would think about, talk about, worry about POOP! You have to keep track of how often they poop, make sure they are pooping enough! Then, they sometimes get constipated so you think about trying to get them to poop. It goes on and on and on!
Katie 08.27.2013
The hormones are ridiculous! I made the mistake of watching “I’m Having Their Baby” just a few days after having my daughter. Big mistake! The ugly cry came out for sure! The hormones have settled down thankfully, but 14 months later I’m still eating cold food half the time :)
Sara 08.27.2013
I laughed at all of these because they are so true…especially the crazy emotions. I NEVER cry, but for the first few weeks after my daughter was born I cried at everything…and then I would cry because I was crying! :)
I also never new I could sit and stare and something so much…all those times I should have been sleeping, but I just wanted to see her and make sure she was ok. That never stops.
I just sent my baby to kindergarten this week.
Joanna 08.27.2013
I had the worst night sweats with my first. So gross. I would add to this list (and I know you’re not there yet) weaning-induced depression. Seriously. I didn’t even know it was a thing, and this is my third! And it’s not the “oh I’m so sad I won’t have this bonding experience anymore” depression–I’m counting the days that I will have complete freedom from my boob-attached babe. It’s the crazy hormone-induced depression. Not long after he started solids I found myself crying all day long. I never had the baby blues, but this is a bitch. Just a heads up. I don’t think it’s talked about often.
Joanna 08.27.2013
Hair loss is another big one. Mine started at about four months after my son was born. Gobs and gobs of hair. I would clean my brush daily post-baby, and it would look like I hadn’t cleaned it in weeks (pre-baby). Fortunately that only lasted a few months. I was really freaked out for a while though.
Lisa 08.27.2013
This might be TMI, but I had no idea how long I would have the post-delivery bleeding. I pictured sitting by the pool this summer while my baby napped during the day. HA, I haven’t been in a bathing suit all summer.As soon as I think it’s over, it’s not.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s a small sacrifice. I love being a mother, and it’s been wonderful spending our days together, but they definitely don’t include a swimsuit.
At the risk of sharing too much, I feel like mothers should be warned about this. I had no idea. That being said, it’s been so wonderful watching my little one grow and change. It gets better every day!
Vanessa 08.27.2013
Totally true!! No one told me about this one!
Amy 08.27.2013
I totally cried the day my daughter’s social security card arrived in the mail! I’ve never been one to cry…about much of anything…but motherhood has made me such a sap! I think it’s probably a good change!
No one could have prepared me for the level of vulnerability you feel becoming a parent. Honestly, the whole heart beating out of your chest thing because you’re so overwhelmed by love and care for the little one? I don’t know how people have more than one…I’m not sure my heart could handle it!
Congrats!
Dena 08.27.2013
#6 – NOT a phase. I’ll leave it at that :)
Lindsey 08.27.2013
LOVE this post! I have many girlfriends with kids that have told me the same things. I know it will be the biggest change ever but still agree it will all be 110% work it :)
Madison 08.27.2013
This is a very informative post and I am so grateful that you did this! I am not yet a parent and learned alot from this. :)
Alisha @ Alisha's Appetite 08.27.2013
Annnnd this is why I am going to wait a few more years to have babies. I am totally planning on having kids and know that all of the craziness will be worth it but I still need a few more years of married life with just me and the hub. <3
Iowa Girl Eats 08.27.2013
That’s why Ben and I waited 5 years! It’s all worth it, but yes, this is a crazy time!
morgan 08.27.2013
All of the above (and more) was why we waited a long time too. We were together 9+ years, and married for 4 before our little girl was born. And you’re right. It is SO worth the wait. But really, no one tells you HOW HARD it all is. Just existing is hard, not to mention trying to get anything done. Like eating. Congrats on your beautiful baby boy!
Donna 08.27.2013
Great post! My daughter is a year & a half and I STILL say DAILY ” this is the s$&@ they don’t tell you!” Here’s 2 more for the newborn stage- 1- they start to smile when they’re 6 weeks, but is also the peak for them crying. I had no clue until an aweful night of her crying and found the 6- week crying spell is so normal (yep- no one tells ya that one!)
2- your hair falls out…A LOT! Mine did for months…and now I think the new hair that grew back is even MORE ” humidity prone!!”
Jess 08.27.2013
Yea, no one told me about my hair falling out and so I was shocked and grossed out! :) But yes, it does fall out and it has taken almost 8 months for it to stop. Now I have a bunch of short baby hairs that look a little silly. Can’t wait for them to grow! But…it is all worth it :)
Donna @ My Tasty Journey 08.27.2013
YEP!! I have the short baby hairs too, Jess!!! Hahahahahaha…it almost looks like 1990 fluffed bangs all over again;)
char eats greens 08.27.2013
I definitely became more forgetful after baby than before, which I always thought was the opposite!! I would also say, learn to swallow food without even chewing. If before baby Char had a glimpse at after baby Char, she would think, ‘how the hell is she eating without choking?!’ I legit don’t even chew my food sometimes because I know that I gotta get to baby! hahah
Mallory 08.27.2013
My hormones are what surprised me the most. After I had my first one, I felt so overwhelmed and would cry about anything. It took me about 2 months before I finally felt somewhat normal. I was under the impression that after I had my baby that everything was going to be sunshine and roses…not so much! But, I must say after my 2nd baby was born it was totally different. I was already well adjusted to life with kids so it was no big deal!
Donna 08.27.2013
I completely agree,Mallory! Those hormones are tough and scary! I had them from when my daughter was about 6 weeks to 3 months. It’s hormones, the reality that your whole life will never be the same, adjusting to what it feels like to NEVER feel truly relaxed, not having ONE CLUE of what you’re doing 98% of the time and then the guilt from feeling ANY sadness when you’re soooo lucky to have a healthy baby all rolled into one! I think if all women just admitted we ALL have that “No, I REALLY can’t do this” moment at least once, then no one would feel bad or scared by it!:)
FitBritt@MyOwnBalance 08.27.2013
Oh my gosh, your little man is so adorable!! Those feet! I’m so glad you shared this list! I definitely had no idea about any of these things!
Emily 08.27.2013
My daughter was born on July 24th and you are spot on with this post! The hormones, crying, night sweats, online shopping, second guessing everything… I’m so glad I’m not alone!! :) I knew newborns were hard, but this is definitely the hardest thing I’ve ever done. But, it is so worth it. I can just stare at my daughter for hours :) I’m so in love. Congrats!!
Gina, book dragon 08.27.2013
loved your post, Lincoln’s feet are kissable!
My youngest is 24 now so I’ve lost a lot of the first year memories.
#10. Man, you have to be fast with the cover-up, I think the air turned on the faucet. . .adding one more washcloth/cloth diaper/rag to the laundry every change.
#8 Yes. Yes they are. As someone who suffered from PPD, I know your two weeks were VERY long indeed. Just be glad they ended and be ready for them after the next one.
#1. Totally! :D
Losing Lindy 08.27.2013
I have just started to get hot meals again, and V is 6. Once Lincoln can start feeding himself, you need to pull out his food early enough for it to cool, and for your to cut it. I do this for V, and don’t know why I didn’t do it before.