It’s time for the last installment of my “Life After Baby” series with my partners at UnityPoint Health! In case you’re just tuning in, over the past five months we’ve been discussing baby/Mama-friendly topics including how to find your new normal after having a baby, how to eat healthfully after baby, and how to get motivated to get back into a fitness routine after having a baby.
Today I want to close the series with an overview on how both kids are doing, how we’re adjusting as a family, and what my life is like five months after welcoming Cameron into the family. It’s so cliche, but I just cannot believe it’s already been five whole months since he was born. I wake up every day excited to hold this joyful soul tight, and am so thankful to be healthy enough to truly enjoy this sweet and fleeting stage this time around!
The Boys
When I picture what a typical little brother looks like in my mind, Cameron fits the mold. He is along for the ride, down for anything, the sweetest little squish (at least once a day Lincoln has to remind me, “He is just a baby, Mom! You can’t eat him!!”) and adores his big brother. I kind of thought Cam would be cooing and grabbing for Lincoln as soon as he got out of the newborn stage, but it took 4-1/2 months or so for him to go from “Who is this crazy person running around the house?” to “I want to join in the fun!” He sits and waits for Lincoln to look at him then when he does, Cam’s face lights up and he gives the loudest pterodactyl squawk he can manage. I have no doubt that Lincoln will inherit a Cameron-sized shadow as soon as he’s mobile.
Lincoln loves being a big brother and is very mindful of, and affectionate towards Cameron. Lately his favorite phrases are, “Mom, we have a BABY!” and “It’s ok, little guy!” with a kiss and pat on the head if Cam is fussing. I don’t want to paint an overly rosy picture, but truly we couldn’t have asked for our toddler to adjust any better – he is such a rockstar. A lot of our success, I think, has been due to the fact that we’ve tried not to change “the norm” up too much. We still go to the zoo, the science center, the park, on walks, etc – we just take Cameron with us. As I suggested in my first Life After Baby post, changing an already established routine because of a new baby could create resentment and jealousy. It’s not always easy to go out with a 3-1/2 year old and a 5 month old, but it’s worth it.
Throughout my pregnancy, and actually the year leading up to it, I was worried that a three year age gap might be a bit too large and the boys would have trouble relating. My little brother and I are only 15 months apart, and were closer than close growing up, so I always wanted that for my children. Now that I see the two of them together, I realize they’re going to be just fine! Of course they’ll have their own things – 6 year olds aren’t into everything 3 year olds are into, for example – but they’re going to be best buds. Truly the gap couldn’t be more perfect for our family. At 3-1/2, Lincoln is able to entertain himself while I’m feeding Cameron or putting him down for a nap and, knowing myself, I would feel overwhelmed wrangling a 2 year old plus a baby.
The Family
To the people who say “having two kids is easier than having one!” I understand you the least. JK, but seriously, in my experience, having two kids is not easier than having one, at least not when they’re this young. Having your second child is EASIER than having your first because you have experience, and it goes so much faster, but adding an additional life that you need to love and care for does not make life easier. It’s twice the attention, twice the wake ups, twice the stuff – you get the picture – but it’s also twice the kisses, twice the snuggles, and twice the love. My children are my never-ending blessings and I wouldn’t trade this life for anything.
So, yeah, it’s tough! But it’s also easy to make things more complicated then they have to be. When life feels insane, I remind myself that people have been raising multiple children for thousands of years (and with way more than 2 kids!) and that the chaos is temporary. 18 years-type temporary…but still. Deep breaths.
I was bummed we didn’t end up booking a spring break trip this year but, newsflash Kristin! You have an infant who naps three times a day and goes to bed at 6pm – a vacation at this point in your life wouldn’t really feel like vacation. Next year will be easier to travel, and the year after that will be even easier. Just like it was with Lincoln.
Parenthood is ALL about patience.
Other than that, we’ve been leaning on my parents more this time around for help babysitting so Ben and I can get out together alone. As I mentioned in this post, we got season tickets to the Civic Center and thus have an excuse to go out on the town once a month, and I’m trying to remind myself that Grandparents (well at least our parents) wait their whole lives to take care of their grandkids. I hate asking for help, but dedicated time away with Ben, when our day-to-day is kidskidskids, is really important.
Me
When I think back to my life before Lincoln I want to grab myself by the shoulders and shout, “YOU THINK YOU’RE BUSY?!?!” Hot breath on my own face. What in the world did I do with my endless gobs of time back then? And now with Cam here, I can’t believe how tight time felt with just one child.
That said, there is no downtime with two kids, a husband, work, and trying to maintain a social life. Especially now when the boys are on completely opposite schedules – literally I lay Cameron down for his last nap of the day and while I’m closing his bedroom door, I hear Lincoln waking up from his. It is nonstop from 6am to 8pm, and then I dig into work stuff. That said, this is my choice. I could get more help during the week (currently we have childcare one morning a week,) but I want to spend as much time with the boys as I can before they’re both in school full time.
It’s not like I’m harried and miserable all day either – it’s the opposite! I love being home with these nuts and we have a blast adventuring, playing, and listening to music all day. I know how lucky I am to do what I do, and I’ve worked my tail off to make this life a reality. It’s just knowing that I’m not going to get 90% of the things on my to do list done each day, and having to be ok with that!
I keep talking about perspective in this journey of being a mother of two. Specifically, I’m trying not to get riled up about the little things that don’t truly matter. Those are what makes the 16+ hour days seem like 26 hour days. Like not obsessing over crumbs on the floor (what’s the point?) stressing out if Cameron’s not napping well (I’m up with Lincoln anyway,) or worrying if my kids aren’t doing something their peers are yet (who cares?!) I’ve gotten better at asking myself “will this matter in 5 years? Heck, 5 days from now?” If not, I try to move on. Keyword = try. Trust me, I’m not as chill as I may be coming across right now.
I’ll never forget a friend’s wise words, “the hardest stage of parenting is whatever stage you’re in.” So true, right?! The journey’s going to be long and tough no matter what and I’ve come to the conclusion that the only way to get out alive is if you can have a sense of humor about it…and an abundant stash of wine. Good thing I’ve got both.
Truly I am so happy in my roll as Mama to these two sweet souls – they bring me so much joy. To be two other human’s almost exclusive source of comfort, love, and care is extremely humbling, and I feel so privileged to be “their person”. They are certainly mine.
I have so enjoyed having these dedicated posts to talk all things Motherhood! I know at its heart IGE is a gluten-free recipe blog, but MY heart is my family, so the two go hand in hand. I also want to thank UnityPoint Health for sponsoring this post series. Ben and I owe so much to the unbelievable nurses, doctors, and providers who have been with us from the very start of this journey.
If you live in Iowa, Illinois or Wisconsin, UnityPoint Health provider services are available to you. Visit www.unitypoint.org, select the location you live in then click the “Find a Doctor” tab to find a provider near you.
UnityPoint Health also recently came out with an awesome app that you can use to book appointments, request prescription refills, send messages to your doctor, and review test results – I was able to try it out, and it is SLICK!!! Start by clicking “Sign Up Now” then “Click Here to Register” on this website. Once you’re registered, download the “MyChart” app in the app store, select your state, and then “My UnityPoint” to log in. So nice to be able to do everything from your phone vs calling in when you’ve got kids running around in the background! Enjoy!
I’ve got 2 girls that are 3.5 years apart and it’s really true, it goes by a million times faster and you just freaking chill out with baby #2. My theory is that you’ve got your little mimic watching everything and you can’t exactly flip out and melt down alllllthetime.. gotta handle poo-splosions and emotions in a sing songy voice with a smile on your face!
I just stumbled upon your blog and first how the heck did it take me so long to find it haha and two, your posts on motherhood are just all of my feelings right now. Very excited for all the recipes but equally excited to read and follow your posts on being a mom. Thank you for sharing❤
I am one of those crazies that says two is easier than one….. eventually, but I admit, you aren’t quite in that stage yet. When they are still little you will eventually have a built in playmate and best friend. You will even be able to shower by yourself again someday. As they get older they have a peer to talk to when questions get awkward, a confidant to share secrets, and someone to keep them out of trouble when they make bad decisions. Long term, they have a best man, an awesome uncle to their own kids, and even further out, a person to share in the tough decisions and pain that all people eventually have to face when their parents age. Best of luck and love to you in whatever stage life finds you in.
Totally agree with you, Haley! I can absolutely see how two is easier than one when they can at least start to play together. I can’t wait to see the relationship they form!
The photos are lovely =)
Thanks Sara!
Hey! Love the posts, esp. these “mama ” ones. It’s so funny how so many people worry about the same things. I have two just about the same ages as yours, so we are right there with ya. I remember being worried about the three year gap, esp. when friends got pregnant with their second at the “perfect” 2 year interval, then we couldn’t conceive for another year… Honestly, I’m super happy with the age difference! My son can do so much for himself and is mostly past the crazy defiant stage, and absolutely adores his lil sis. The pic of Lincoln leaning over Cameron? Everyday, all day at our house. He can’t get enough.
I guess my lesson learned is 1) forget the comparison game and 2) God’s plans ARE perfect, and perfect for each person’s life, when we place ALL of our trust in Him. Thanks again for your posts, and enjoy your sweet boys:)
Thank you, Carla! Great reminders. :) Enjoy your sweeties too – sounds like they are also quickly on their way to becoming best buds! :)
Thanks for these posts. This last one, in particular, really hit home. It’s such a blessing to be a mama, even on the toughest of days. Thanks for being so transparent and sharing your ups and downs. And thanks for making the rest of us realize that we’re all in this together!
I always appreciate it when other Moms are transparent with me – always makes me feel like I’m not alone!
You guys are SO lucky to have grandparents that are willing to babysit!! Not all of us are so fortunate– take full advantage of those opportunities!
Oh I know it – we do feel so, so lucky!
My kiddos are 3 1/2 years apart. My oldest is a 8 1/2 year old girl and youngest is just turned 5 year old boy. They are awesome at playing with Legos together. It’s amazing to me how long they can play that. There are also shows that they both enjoy on Netflix and puzzles are great for both kids along with toy food. I never thought they would play so well together especially considering their ages and personalities, but it totally works!! Your boys will be playing together in no time :-) Enjoy!!
That’s what we’re counting on too – puzzles and Legos! Those and magnatiles. ?
Appeals to all ages, right?
I just couldn’t love these motherhood posts more! I am pregnant with our second and I keep wondering how there’s going to be enough time, love, etc. for both kids. This warmed my heart! Thank you for sharing!
Congratulations, Meredith!! Honestly, the adjustment from 1 to 2 has been so, so much easier than 0-1. It’ll be tough at first, but you’ll do great!!
Amen, sister! This post is so beautifully written! It’s so obvious that your love you have for your kiddos is so genuine. I was just smiling and nodding reading your thoughts on a mama because I feel the same exact way! You are doing an amazing job!! I feel like whatever stage your in is definitely the most difficult and everyone has their “stuff”, whether you have one kid, are pregnant, no kids, or 8. I just adore you and your sweet little family.
Thank you so much, Laura, I appreciate it! :)
It is always fun to read your blog. Speaking from experience, you will appreciate the 3 yrs difference in your children when it is time to pay college tuition!! Keep up the good work and best wishes.
Bahaha, that is so true! Good point, Laurel!
My “babies” are all 3 years apart – 18, 15 & 12. I have 2 boys as well and was pleasantly surprised that the last one was a girl! I would give anything to go back and get those sweet “I love you’s” and yummy kisses but I can say that now I am enjoying the fruits of all those hard baby years. Don’t get me wrong, this stage is difficult too but I love getting to travel and spend time with these young adults they are becoming (and I still need my wine but just not on nights when I have to pick them up late). Take lots of videos of these years as you will forget their little personalities and their little voices. Enjoy every minute because you will turn around and be choosing colleges before you know it!
? I know it – the years are days are just flying by! Thank you for sharing your perspective, Carla!
Enjoyed your “mommy” up-date and the pictures of your beautiful family.
Your boys are so adorable! Lincoln sounds like a great big brother. Isn’t it sweet watching them interacting. I’m sure Cameron WILL idolize his big brother…my 4 year old grandson does his 8 year old brother. And we grandparents ALWAYS love helping out and being with our grandkids…so don’t heistant to ask. The important thing is to enjoy your boys cause they grow up WAY to fast!
Literally THE sweetest thing. The days are flying and I’m doing my best to cherish every minute with these cuties! Thanks, Char!
Great post! My kids are 3 years apart too but at 13 and 10, things are different here. I remember when my daughter was born. I thought I was so smart & was going to potty train my 3 yr old son while I was on maternity leave. What an idiot I was for thinking that!!! He resisted HARD CORE. I wanted them closer in age but it just did not happen. They are not the best of friends but it’s fun to see them together – they do love each other. My daughter is very close to the same height as my son — much drama when you are 13! Kids change your life forever but in the best possible way!!! Keep the posts coming – I love it.
It’s so true, Heather, I would never go back! Thanks for sharing your perspective!
Thanks for this post! My littles are almost 3 and 7 months so I hear you! I have no idea what I used to do with all my time, but I am grateful for how full my days (and nights) are. “Let it go” is my new mantra (crumbs, the fact that I forgot what I was thinking…again, being late, etc). I’ve read your blog since before kids so it’s fun to grow with you…I feel like we’re old friends. :)
I love it, Anela, and am so glad we are growing old together! ? ? Love your Let it Go mantra, too, especially because that song plays about 400 times around here every day!
Love this post! We are expecting our second in just a couple months and I’m nervous about the transition. Ours will be three years apart, too. I think you summed up motherhood, its challenges and its rewards perfectly! I just wonder how you move on to your work AFTER 8 pm?! By 8 pm I am so exhausted I feel like the only thing I can do is read a book or watch TV, or clean the kitchen if I’m really motivated lol. And that’s just with one child!
It’s tough, but I just remind myself that that’s the tradeoff if I’m not working during the day. A splash of wine on the side helps too!
Love your comments on a spring break vacation! We have 4 with the youngest being 8 months and I was looking at trips to Cancun over break for all 6 of us… My husband walked in and was like, “Babe, I’m so sorry but we are NOT there yet!” Harsh reality but totally okay…most days… :)
*Totally* harsh. ‘Tis the season of life though, right? There will be many, many fun trips to look forward to in the future – I’m excited for the boys to be old enough to get involved in the planning, too. Won’t that be fun?
Thanks for sharing this glimpse into your family with us! I’ve enjoyed following along as we brought our second home the end of January and now have 2 kids, 15 months apart. You are absolutely right about keeping a sense of humor and a stash of wine! ;)
Ahh, like I said Lea, my brother and I are 15 months apart and were best, best friends growing up (and are still super close now.) You guys will have so much fun!
I’m due with my second at the end of May and I love these posts and seeing how life really goes. My first was never a great napper and while it stressed me out (Still does!), I’m aiming to be more go with the flow with the second. Thanks for sharing how you guys are doing!
Congratulations, Heather!! I think you’ll find you’re a lot more relaxed about pretty much everything with the second child. I was constantly worried about something with Lincoln but you just realize what’s *really* worth stressing over pretty quickly with the second. You’ll do great!
What a darling family:) Loved these posts – please keep similar ones coming! How did you go about finding childcare? You are fortunate to live close to family that is able and willing to watch the boys monthly!
Thank you so much, Lisa! We have found all our help through Care.com. It was a little nerve wracking at first, but we’ve had great, great luck and have found some really awesome girls over the past three years!